Caught Visit - May 11, 2014

On May 11 2014, Caught entered the chat …

May 11, 2014

Caught enters the chat
Caught: anyone willing to come on cam wit me to make it less weird?
Caught: aw hell lookit ALL that support =P
Caught: you gauis
Caught: I dunno
Caught: I dont know what…
Denitza: what don't you know
Caught: ill camhold up
Urbanus: is everyting okay?
Roppop Wow, it's bright
Caught: hey
Caught: sorry on balcony
Caught: deal with it =P
Urbanus: lookit you, outside and junk
Mari: been soaking up a lot of light?
Caught: wish it would fucking rain
Loxura: You're typing while we can hear you type. Just sayin'.
Caught: Shut up. Your face. I said shut it, laugher.
Charithonia: what's up?
Caught: I dont know
Roppop: How are you doing?
Caught: I do not know
Caught: everything is so fucked
Caught: I do not know
Caught: Natti, hi. Thank you, yknow, for waking me up and stuff. That's cool. And like, thank you for whatever Help3r felt the need for making these things [tattoos].
Allyni: you're welcome. They look pretty badass! That part wasn't my idea.
Caught: The thing is, I don't know if I would have woken up ever, if it wasn't for you. I don't know - you only knew me from some stupid image on the internet, I don't know why you even bothered. But - why? I'm just some stupid nobody that has no future. Why give up such a big thing? I read into it, I know what you did, I've seen the ramifications, so why? Why give up such a big part of yourself for me. Like, I've read your logs at this point. You think I can kill Mirrors, which I don't understand.
Allyni: That's not why I did it!
Caught: why then? It's such a big deal, why? Maybe you're just stupid. [laughs]
Allyni: Very possible! But um, I don't have any regrets about it. It was worth it just to see you happy, or someone in general happy.
Caught: But you haven't seen me happy, you've seen me awake.
Allyni: No, like, the "happy Hour" video, y'all were together again, that was really cool.
Caught: Natalie's away again, she's up in Eastern Washington doing like - pricing wallpaper, I think that's what she said. Fuckin - Natti though, like, I don't understand, someone you don't know at all on the internet, some stupid douchebag, and you want to help him for no reason? [laughs]
Urbanus: genuine concern?
Caught: You think I'm gonna make everything okay again? Put things back to the way they were?
Loxura: I think at this point, every single one of us, if there's anyone we can help, we do because there's so much shit in the world.
Caught: yeah yeah yeah yeah, paradox loxura motehrfucker, being chased by something called searching for loxura, your lover, where the fuck did my cigarettes go? I lost them [laughs] Where the fuck did they go? Hold on I'll be right back. [laughs louder]
Loxura: You were saying?
Caught: What was I saying?
Loxura: I'm not really sure between the lag and the laughter
Caught: Loxura, pretty english box, chased by searching for loxura, you think it must be connected to mirrors, and caught's the only one who can kill mirrors, so let's go save caught so he can save the day!
Papilio: That was a theory Caught
Papilio: We never expected you to save us or get rid of mirrors
Loxura: I don't expect you to fix the problem at this point. we just help you because that's what we do now.
Caught: Ahh, Rene, I see your face, and you did a thing that was similar to Natti did, but kind of the opposite
Caught: What was that light thing? What is light?
Denitza: kinda like your soul
Denitza: but not
Caught: God, I wish it would rain. Wait, real quick: Is Red or Maya here? Either of them here? So you know what I'm saying. Without the rain, it's like he's right there. he's watching you right there. But once you look there, he's over there, and you can't go outside, and Natalie doesn't like us both in the house, so you go outside and it's right there. It's watching, it's waiting, it's using you in some way.
Urbanus: I'm here
Urbanus: yeah
Urbanus: i get ya
Urbanus: dude, i live in florida
Caught: And you fucks are just caught in the middle. Like you're here. "trying to help" that's just something you'll say when the walls fucking crumble around you. [laughs]
Phlogea: No sir, you are the Caught in the middle
Caught: Maybe I'll fall apart. Maybe I'll leave Natalie and be homeless for a while. And just let him take me and it'll finally be over. But every time it wants to take me, it doesn't, it just beats the shit out of me. Just fucking take me, already.
Caught: You're gonna have to talk to me via headphones because I'm not reading.
Caught: And then there's Cruser, who like, Mirrors was in your house and shit. I've read up, I understand. And I read the shit about how the only person who can kill Mirrors is me and I'm like [laughs] I can't even save myself dude.
Loxura: WE don't expect you to do anything. It's just some information that Roivas threw out.
Caught: I saw the footage of Happy Hour. Funny name, by the way. Good job Natalie, for making a funny name. I assumed that thing had been gone since I'd be gone. ???
Papilio: Caught that's not true
Caught: It is true! The evidence states that it is! While I was gone, while I was in a coma, while I was away, things were fine. Then when I get back the puppets show up again.
Papilio: when you were asleep in a coma, there was still shit happening, like SFL was happening, like mirrors was happening
Caught: What do you expect me to do about it? What. He's right there. I see him, standing in the trees across the street. What the fuck do you want? You wanna take me, fuckin take me? [laughs]
Allyni: don't be taunting the damn thing
Caught: I'll taunt all I want, it's been after me for like three years. it's just standing there watching. C'mon. C'MON!
Denitza: with natalie not there, if it beats the shit out of you, then you're gone
Caught: If it did something, that would be better than it just fucking standing there watching me. Every time I go outside, every time I go to the store, it's just watching me. [continues taunting the Beast]
Laparus: Then you're making it angry which means your doing something right.
Urbanus: maybe you had a little too much to drink
Caught: that is probably true. Who is that, say your name, who is that?
Urbanus: me
Caught: Oh, Red and Chewie. That's a good idea. You got caught by showtime, and then you went to go hang out with the guy who has so much supernatural shit going on that I could scratch my ass with it! that's a good idea!
Caught: red. you and maya are the only people that have survived. I don't know what it is. I don't get it. but you two survived, you made it. no one else did.
Urbanus: Oh yeah I get to walk around paranoid all the time.
Caught: yeah, but you're alive and get to walk around all the time
Laparus: I believe when it's justified the term is "hypervigilant"
Caught: but no one, NO ONE else made it, from what I've seen.
Caught: Come on, just standing there outside my apartment, come and get me. Come on! [whispers] I'm probably scaring my neighbors, I should probably not talk loud, I'm sorry.
Caught: These people, that I've seen walking around, walking their dogs every day. They don't have a fucking clue to what else is going on out there around them. It's weird, y'know?
Loxura: I know that feeling.
Caught: I can't even take care of myself, what am I going to do for you? It's always there now, always. Before I woke up, it wasn't. But since Help3r woke me up, even in that basement, I know it's always watching. And I'm like "why are you always watching, what do you want?"
Papilio: what do you want?
Caught: What do I want? I want to know who I was. I wanna know who I was before … I wanna know why this is happening. How do you propose I do that?
Caught: Life is just a game, it's all about setting up your piece so you end up ahead in the game, but I'm not a strategist, I'm no good at this shit.
Papilio: well its a multiplayer coop, we're here to help
Caught: a lot of people who help me, suddenly messages that natalie shouldn't be the one I'm trusting. Natalie is suspicious, Natalie may be hiding something
Laparus: Natalie may be hiding things but that doesn't mean you can't trust her.
Caught: That is exactly the feeling I've gotten from y'all. The one person who went out of their way to save me and I can't trust her? That makes it hard to trust y'all, who are all set up with Roivas, who has given me no answers. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I can't kill your mirrors I can't save you, I can't do anything for you.
Papilio: people who join the butterflies are not set out against you. there are reasons from your perspective not to trust us. That said, there are plenty of people who are not set up with Roivas, who don't trust her, what else do you need?
Caught: Honestly Cruser I'm not attacking you, I'm not accusing you but I don't know who I can trust.
Caught: I'm a lil fucked up cuz natalie isn't here and I've been on my own for a few days, and I'm not saying you guys are bad people, I don't think you are. It just - the longer it doesn't rain, the more things go crazy, and the more I get irritated with life.
Papilio: Well, that's why you came online, so you could talk to somebody.
Caught: natti?
Allyni: yeah?
Caught: I don't really understand what you did, and from those files I'm not sure if you really did anything, but you did something. You did something that made Help3r wake me up. I get the feeling he was just waiting for someone to do something before he - where the fuck is my lighter?
Caught: My battery's probably gonna go out soon, but I'll come back once I plug in. I don't know, thank you, I guess. Thank you? It's right … over there. just — [turns the camera] can you guys see anything [nothing is visible on the camera]
Allyni: I'm sorry that you, red, and maya have to see that every day. That's not what I woke you up for. I just wanted to give you a chance to figure shit out.
Caught: And you know, beyond all the shit. I thank you for that.
Allyni: you're welcome
Caught: guys I think I might have a bit of a drinking problem
Urbanus: well the first step is admitting it
Caught: admitting it doesn't mean anything if you don't want to change it
Loxura: out of the various possible vices you could use, this is at least not one it wants
Caught: Rene are you wearing pajamas?
Thyodamas: [shakes head no]
Allyni: yo, caught did you get off cam?
Caught: what? [leaves and returns]
Caught: Hello. I think I was asking before I left if Rene was wearing pajamas. Not that it matters. Shit, this fucking house.
Caught: I don’t know what to do anymore, I don’t know why I even bothered coming back, there’s not much more to say. I should introduce you to my friend. This is Bernard. And Bernard is full of vodka.
Denitza: what a good friend, lets you just drink out of his head.
Caught: He is a good friend. "Hello, I'm Bernard! I will help you through all the hard times!" [laughs]
Allyni: I'm not gonna get onto the drinking just yet, but do you have something to offset that?
Caught: I ate a lot of hamburger, so I'm pretty set.
Allyni: I have a cheeseburger
Caught: A good old-fashioned american cheeseburger, that's the first thing I got when I got out. I ate all of natalie's shit. I think she was a lil upset. fuckin Help3r with his army ration bullshit. It was rice, two slices of beef, and broccoli. everyday. ten AM every day, "eat this". one PM every day "eat this." four PM every day "eat this in the meantime, study all this material! I will get back to you."
Denitza: Sounds like the grade school teacher from hell.
Allyni: rice is amazing.
Caught: yes, rice was amazing, everyday, non-seasoned white rice.
Denitza: no salt?
Caught: No salt, nothing. just bland food every day. I'll give him something though: that motherfucker was trying to find something. no idea what he was looking for, he was looking for something. I don't really know what I'm looking for, and what I'm finding, I don't like.
Laparus: you think he was looking for something specific, or just randomly spitballing like the rest of us?
Caught: I'll be honest with you, I have no idea. I'm sorry, I just have no clue.
Laparus: that's fair man, that's fair.
Papilio: what are you finding that you don't like
Caught: you mean recently?
Papilio: sure.
Caught: I can't talk to you about recently, I'm sorry. I have my reasons, I'm not that drunk.
Papilio: I assume it has to do with you asking for first names?
Caught: Can't say anything. Shouldn't say a thing. so leave that. I don't like being alone though. Natalie out, getting stuff, living her life. That's great and all but I don't like being alone. I mean she'll be back on Monday, which is tomorrow, but fuck.
Urbanus: get a cat!
Laparus: yeah dude get a pet
Caught: what's a pet gonna do for me? something else to care about that's just gonna die? if I get taken, finally, then what?
Laparus: natalie will probably look after it.
Caught: I'm sorry. I didn't wanna bring a lot of sad shit. I just don't fucking know what to do, and I had no one else to talk to.
Laparus: dude, you need to vent, you need to vent.
Papilio: you're totally allowed to be upset, c'mon.
Caught: yeah, but it doesn't change anything, being upset about it. doing shit changes things. sitting around talking about it doesn't change shit. it doesn't do anything [drinks out of Bernard]
Laparus: lets get down to business then.
Caught: alright what do you mean by that, what's business?
Laparus: we'll all start looking for something, you've got a big group of people here, a lot of brains to pick at, give us a direction to go with
Caught: I need to know things about mirrors you don't know, need to know things about showtime you don't know, I need to know things about roivas you don't know. i've read your logs, I know what you do and don't know, we're all in the same fuckin boat!
Papilio: maybe we know somebody who knows.
Caught: You mean about Unknown and Warren. Somebody sent me a message, I'm good.
Papilio: unknown and warren were wrapped up in it ages ago before you.
Caught: my problems are my problems, Im gonna deal with it on my own. Obviously you guys have other problems I mean you got Showtime and Searching for Loxura and Loxura is there and he's dealing with it so. I can deal with this myself.
Papilio: caught, can I ask you a question? how well has that been working out for you so far doing things on your own.
Caught: [laughs]
Papilio In fact, wasn't your whole video thing started by wanting to get help from other people because you couldn't do things on your own?
Caught: and that was a mistake. if I hadn't done that you all wouldn't be here.
Papilio: did you not see help3r's last video, we're all screwed anyway
Caught: No, no. you're screwed because YOU LOOKED INTO IT. YOU'RE SCREWED BECAUSE OF ME.
Loxura: the world's pretty fucked up as it is, theres no guarantee that we wouldn't have been mixed up in it regardless.
Chat: [tries convincing Caught that their involvement is not his responsibility]
Caughti: [shouting] I am the problem, I am the problem!
Caught: goodbye.
Caught left the room

Special thanks to those who compiled this chat log