Underscore Visit - August 2, 2013

On August 2nd, 2013 Thyodamas' Light returned to the chat seemingly more reserved than before. She described the Dark Place as a place of constant pain and suffering. She encouraged Butterfly Loxura to pull himself together for the sake of himself and the others, and to remember that though he has suffered, he has people who care for him and a world that is better than the one she resides in.

Previously entering chat under several variations of an underscored name, this visit revealed that this represented the Light of Butterfly Thyodamas, which was previously abducted by The Mirror. It exists in the Dark Place and has developed sentience. Its conversational style mirrors that of Thyodamas. The Light played a video of misty smoke. The transcript has been edited and usernames have been changed to Butterfly names for the sake of clarity. Personal information has been redacted.

August 2, 2013

Light enters the chat
Roppop: Hello!
Light: oh…hi there.
Roppop: How are you feeling, dear?
Thyodamas: Hey girl =)
Light: …I wonder why sometimes you guys just pop up…
Chat: Hi! How are you?
Light: I still feel sick, and tired…but alright I guess…
Apollo: Has Lasaia found you yet?
Light: No, I'm still just here. there is a little town…down there, it's odd.
Apollo: :/ Ok, we'll keep working on that.
Light: I have been watching, those things…the skinny ones, they are there…they kind of walk around…and it's odd. It's like watching a normal town…a while ago one wandered in from outside and they chased him down, like the whole town did…they killed him, and then just went back to walking around…like nothing happened…
Philenor: Yeah, that's kind of disturbing.
Light: Just left his body in the street. Well, I think it was a street once…it's all broken and stuff.
Philenor: I wonder why that one was different from the rest that they would kill him.
Dido: One of their own? Wow.
Apollo: Maybe it's like ant hills. Ants kill ants from other hills when they invade.
Light: Well they kill each other all the time we have seen that. I always wondered why some of them get along and others don't. It's not like they have much to say.
Thyodamas: Maybe it's like those dystopia stories where whenever someone gets creative they die.
Light: Heh. Something is wrong with this place.
Thyodamas: As in the town or everything.
Light: Everything. I just want to know how it works.
Thyodamas: that would be pretty cool. Gettin all sciencey n' shit.
Apollo: Understandable.
Hellion: How what works?
Light: The people here. they all seem lost, but they don't seem confused. Most of them anyway. Speaking of that…some of them look more like people, people. Less broken, more clothing, not so torn at.
Apollo: More people who got trapped maybe?
Light: Everyone lacks focus…they just…drift.
Samuelis: :( It sounds horrible.
Light: Then there are the ones who stand out.
Thyodamas: They probably don't have a whole lot to do there other than just wander around. Oh?
Samuelis: How do they stand out?
Light: SFL, mirrors, that lady with the fingers…
Heliconioides: Stand out how?
Light: Me. There have been others…there was a guy we saw a week ago who was building something in the trees but we didn't stop to find out what.
Heliconioides: What is it that makes you stand out? The focus?
Light: Purpose.
Heliconioides: Right.
Dido: Oh Light, I had a question about how time passes for you? Like how long did it feel since you last spoke to us?
Light: I don't know like maybe a day or two? There are no days…so. It's hard to say.
Dido: I know, I just wanted to know how it felt for you.
Light: The sun never comes up, wind never lets down. I don't know if time is even a thing here.
Dido: Loxura was in there or hours but he said it was as if years passed.
Thyodamas: Time seems to work weird over there.
Light: Well, he was being hurt too. So I'm sure it felt worse.
Chat: Yeah.
Light: Besides, I don't think he was really here. When we saw him he was all flickering and stuff.
Dido: More in between like?
Hellion: His theory on middle-realms. A,B,C, I suppose this gives it more plausibility.
Light: When he was back, did he have any wounds? Like the other times?
Heliconioides: He said he was aching all over.
Light: Well…that's not really the same thing. I saw him being stabbed here, when I grabbed him. If that didn't carry over, he likely was not here physically…I don't know.
Heliconioides: He…didn't say anything, and I didn't see any wounds.
Dido: The weaver was still doing something maybe.
Heliconioides: I sure hope so.
Apollo: Warren said it must have been or he wouldn't have made it out.
Light: See right there two of them. These two have come to this square like four times, and they just stand there looking at each other, kind of swaying. Then eventually move on. Always the same two.
Heliconioides: Is it always the same span of time?
Light: I don't think so. This time they have not been apart long.
Dido: Maybe they keep watch.
Hellion: Maybe they are keeping busy.
Light: I don't think so…the way they look at each other, it's like they want to talk but don't know how. Broken people in a broken place…
Hellion: …maybe teach them?
Apollo: Kinda reminds me of warm bodies.
Thyodamas: Do the two even have mouths to talk?
Light: Yeah.
Hellion: Anything blocking it? They aren't sewn shut or anything?
Light: Nope, they have no reason they can't speak.
Apollo: Maybe they do talk, but only they can hear it.
Thyodamas: Maybe they're just shy.
Apollo: I dunno.
Heliconioides: Maybe they've forgotten what they wanted to say.
Light: Maybe, SFL always gets people like this to do what it wants.
Heliconioides: And only the feeling of wanting to say SOMETHING remains.
Light: And I have never heard SFL speak. Why are the only things here that have a brain…bad.
Laparus: You have a brain.
Heliconioides: I don't like this.
Laparus: Lasaia has a brain. Presumably the mapmaker has a brain. Roivas has a brain.
Light: Ok, all the things here that have any ability, Other than running and hiding.
Glaucopsyche: ^ Also you.
Heliconioides: By the way Light, I wanted to thank you. So very much.
Hellion: I suppose the nature of the beast, if I may say, that without getting strange looks, The dark place corrupts as much as it exists, it seems.
Laparus: Maybe that's how things are fueled there, so to speak.
Light: nature of the beast?
Laparus: You nom your evil-os and grow up big and strong.
Hellion: Those that have power get used to having power.
Apollo: Like, the ones who power their way to the top are the bad ones.
Light: Ah.
Laparus: Just look at capitalism, or politics.
Apollo: Like, how the people who most actively strive for power are often the ones who shouldn't have it. and the ones who would be great with it, don't want it.
Laparus: I think Terry Pratchett put it best, in a sewer the crap floats to the top.
Thyodamas: Well, to be fair on Light's side, she's gonna need at least SOME power if she wants to take on a giant spider.
Apollo: Yeah but that's different. She's not looking to rule the dark place with an iron fist.
Thyodamas: True.
Laparus: That's true. I wish we could like, build her a mech her smokiness could possess or something.
Thyodamas: Actually. I kinda had an idea this morning. where I build a form the same way Septentrionis made a shield.
Hellion: Speaking of "power", I want to ask something concerning what you did to Weaver co…
Light: Hm?
Laparus: Thyodamas, if you have a plan for us to build her a mech I will love you forever.
Thyodamas: And then she just hops in and pilots it like those mechs in the animes.
Loxura: Does this thing work? Light, you're okay right?
Hellion: Do you think you could return some of their senses?
Samuelis: Loxura, did something else happen?
Light: I think I did exactly what needed to be done.
Loxura: No, nothing else happened, I'm just here for obvious reasons.
Light: and hi Loxura.
Loxura: Hey you.
Roppop: What exactly did you do, though? did you just stop them from seeing our chat or…?
Hellion: That's fair, but it's possible they are pawns with a bad king/queen.
Light: Pawns on the other side of the board will still kill you.
Hellion: Just please don't make a habit of doing that, please.
Glaucopsyche: She has a point. They may just be followin orders but we have to protect our own first.
Loxura: Worse case scenario they try to kill us which they were already trying to do, best case, they just leave us alone now.
Thyodamas: Hellion, Light ain't some kinda demon child ok. I'm sure she knows there's limits.
Laparus: Let's not have the battlefield ethics debate just now.
Dido: Don't rile yourself up too much Loxura.
Light: I understand, you are in your nice happy world. Things are nice there. I remember. But this is not a game. Bottom line is, we're safer. And I am tired of treating it as anything less than what it is.
Laparus: …Light, you're going through a lot of shit right now so I'm going to let the happy world thing go.
Loxura: I think what she means is, in comparison.
Light: and Loxura, you need to pull it together.
Loxura: I doing my fucking best.
Light: try harder.
Loxura: Yeah, well, easy for you to say!
Wollastoni: Deep breaths bby.
Light: Tell me what it was like, explain to me Loxura, what you went through.
Loxura: I did that, last night.
Laparus: Listen to her.
Loxura: It was dark, it never fucking stopped, Light. Not only was I in that place, I was in constant…
Wollastoni: Loxura, breathe. Slowly.
Loxura: It didn't stop. I t was like whole fucking months, or years or something, I don't know. So forgive me for feeling a bit fucking paranoid because I keep seeing it again every few minutes!
Light: mhmm it's terrible and it hurts constantly, its like the wind comes in knives.
Loxura: It also fucking sucks.
Light: there is like there is no sound, but too much sound. Constant pain. Worry. Sadness. And it never goes away right?
Loxura: No. But you have to add the stabbing pains on top of that.
Light: In my case, the burning pains. That I have has in some respect since I got here. Cause, let me tell you, there are things I have not shared. I do not belong here. I do not think this place wants me here, and the pain never ever stops. Loxura, I live here. You can and will pull it together.
Loxura: Yeah, I know. Probably. For however long I'm actually here. Probably. It's just kind of difficult right now. If I could control it, that would be fantastic.
Roppop: Breathe please. Slowly and deeply.
Loxura: Oh, I'm breathing! Trust me, I fucking know, every breath fucking hurts. By the way, if I vanish suddenly, don't worry, it's probably just the fact that my computer is fucking shit.
Stelenes: Light, did you and Lasaia split up?
Loxura: When you find him, tell him he has a hell of a fucking slap?
Light: there was a point I felt Loxura stronger…so I went…and went too fast. So I lost him…That's…that's why I need you to pull it together. If you give up, we lose.
Loxura: I've got no intention of giving up. It doesn't matter either way, so why should I give up?
Light: And all this is for nothing.
Loxura: I think about that shit every day! I think about it so much that everybody, including you, keep putting yourself in danger for me! It doesn't make sense!
Light: You would do the same.
Loxura: Yeah I probably would. Will do, if I fucking have to.
Light: It makes perfect sense.
Roppop: We love you, of course we'd do what we can.
Kurthnaga: quoting Hellion here: "Whatever it takes".
Loxura: But the difference is, what's happening to me is supposedly my fucking fault! Maybe I deserve it!
Light: Lets say you do! Let's just act like you do.
Loxura: Doesn't matter either way, does it? It's not gonna fucking stop.
Light: It doesn't change anything, we will still be with you. Like you would be for us.
Loxura: I'm not…I'm not ungrateful. I'm just, as you say, I would od the same thing for you, and via having you do the thing for me, it's almost like I'm not doing the thing for you. I hope that makes sense.
Light: I know.
Allyni: We know.
Apollo: it does *hugs*
Light: Loxura. You need to forgive yourself for this. You are the only one blaming you.
Loxura: Other than, y'know, the massive fucking monster.
Light: Well, SFL is too ugly to get a vote.
Loxura: Too fucking right, there.
Laparus: Light speaks wisdom, major wisdom. Listen to her.
Loxura: I accepted a long time ago that what happened was going to happen and it wasn't going to end up with me sat here (indecipherable) despite everyone telling me "no, it's not". That's as good as it got. Because it doesn't matter whether I forgive myself or not. It doesn't matter What's gonna happen is gonna happen. The only thing I can do is try to do as much as I can before it happens, in this case before it happens again.
Kurthnaga: Light, can you see everyone's light?
Light: Like everyone everywhere? o_O
Kurthnaga: No, just the people here right now.
Light: Oh, yes.
Kurthnaga: Do you remember what Loxura's light looked like before the recent events? And if so, is his current light different?
Laparus: Some day you must tell us how we all look.
Light: Like it does now.
Apollo: That's something at least.
Light: It's the same. And by the way those here that aren't butterflies…they just look like little shimmering things…little like globs.
Hellion: No form, huh?
Light: Loxura, the reason to forgive yourself is not large. It is not game changing. It is not all that important in the long run, but, if you don't, you are just helping this thing hurt you, you don't need to pull it together for me. Or any of us. You need to do it because you deserve it. You Deserve to be treated better, than you have been treating yourself.
Loxura: Okay. Okay, okay. I can…try. For what good it will do. One thing though.
Light: And Loxura, you saw that thing.
Loxura: Yeah, I fucking saw that thing. That's fucking strong.
Light: We are going to kill it Loxura. That's what I was gonna say. If you are really dead set on going after this thing, you better let me help you. I don't know how, but you better be prepared to let me help you. Ok.
Loxura: A prime example being, that should it work, you draw off my light, as much as you need, instead of going back to that fucking piece of shit.
Light: …I don't know if that will work…
Loxura: Neither do I, but it was an example.
Thyodamas: Because Mirrors is manipulative and not very cool ):
Light: Ok…
Loxura: You only go back to that thing as a last fucking resort. Please.
Light: …but…ok…
Loxura: I can't stop you, and I'm not ordering you, but I'm asking you. Please don't. It used me to get you there. It will keep you, keep being what it is.
Light: I know, we will try it your way.
Thyodamas: Besides I ain't so hot on the idea of going through another echo of that bite »;
Loxura: Thank you. For everything.
Light: Of course, and I would hope my body drew flowers around the bite marks. Eat flowers you dick.
Thyodamas: dklfhaskld I DIDN'T THINK OF THAT BUT NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT… I just might.
Light: I think I am gonna get some rest…
Chat: Stay safe, rest well.
Light leaves the chat

Special thanks to those who compiled this chat log