[0:00-0:23] The video immediately opens facing caught, he is again sitting against the window. He rests his hand on his chin and is clearly disdainful throughout the video.
Caught: Uhm…Thanks a lot, uh…what is it, what is your name…Candyland-ShootsN'Ladders, er, something. *He moves over toward his computer off screen* Where is that, it was a game and a…ah, CheckersValentine. Mm…that's a showy name.
[0:23-0:52] Video cuts. Caught is again looking at the computer screen off camera.
Caught: I watched your video there and I'm…I'm proud of you. If I were your dad…I'd give you a hug. And I'd buy you a news baseball cap…and we'd go and throw the ball around, and…this time*feigning tears*…I…I…wouldn't get drunk and forget to show up and leave you in the rain…this time…*sniff* we'd be buddies forev…
[0:53-1:20] There is an abrupt cut, probably for comedic effect. Caught is no longer pretending to cry and is looking at the computer screen from a slightly different angle, over the camera.
Caught: The one who made these weird little videos…Uh, rah…mm, Ravus, Roivas, RoivasSevil…seevul? Sevil…RoivasSevil, Seevul. Whatever your…who, however you pronounce your very unique name. Uhm…uh…Leave me alone.
[1:21-1:55] Slight cut. Angle is the same.
Caught: And uh, but brilliant code, by the way. I mean…good job! RoivasSeevul. Good…good job. I mean, that was, uh, brilliant. I really liked the whole audio backwards thing because that's so…so cool, and original. And, um, things backwards…when translated? It just makes the most entertaining and awesome…uh, Sherlock Holmes experience, minus a bubble pipe and a best friend, ever. It really does. So…
[1:56-2:15] Same cut. Cut is still in the middle of talking.
Caught: Um, I apparently um, am a Slender man? Or…something? *looks at computer and mutters to himself* I am a…am I…? Am I Slender man? Is Slender man me? Or, are we all Slender man? Like, is it a Yellow Submarine deal? What's going on there?
[2:16-2:42] Same cut, Caught is now looking back at the camera.
Caught: Whatever…who, who's doing, I dunno. But…um…*Caught gestures at the camera* I don't think I'm having problems because…a more physically active version of bigfoot is haunting me. I don't think so. I don't think so. I'm pretty sure that's not what's happening.
[2:43-2:53] Same cut. Caught has stopped gesturing.
Caught: I'm leaving…YouTube, I got exactly the kinda reception I expected I'd get and it was useless as I expected it would be. So I'm done with all of you.
[2:54-3:47] Same cut.
Caught: Thank you for all your help. Now I can, I can…um, have beautiful stories to tell my children, about how the internet…angels from the internet came and, shed wonderful light on my story and…saved my life…from the evil Loch Ness monster of Jenny Craig, the Slender man. And…that'll be that. th, so, thank you so much…uh, uh, d'uh, Chess…NewYearsEve, or, Valenti…yeah, CheckersValentine. Thank you, for being such a smart cookie and figuring out that code …uhm, please, uh, come on down to my house and I'll treat you to soft serve ice cream cones…never. Good bye.
[3:47-3:49] The camera rattles as he whips it around, and then back to him.
[3:50-3:53] Caught whips the camera back and refocuses on him.
Caught: Oh! Oh, and, um, bite me.
[3:54-3:55] He turns the camera again and it rattles. Video ends.
