Warren Visit - April 4, 2013

On April 4, 2013 "Warren" entered the chat in a more relaxed state than usual, but continues to deny the chat access to the file containing information regarding Caught, 1AmTheHelp3r and The Showtime Killer, but promises to re-read the contacts.

Butterfly names will be substituted for usernames; and logs have been edited for the sake of clarity. Personal information has been redacted.

April 4, 2013

Warren enters the chat
Warren: I got me a keg. Yeah I said I done tapped this keg!
Samuelis: Well, that sounds like a fun night.
Warren: Yeah, my boys are comin over gonna be TIGHT
Antiopa: hah, hey, Warren, you mind doing this little lady a favor?
Warren: You know how I be. Anyone dead over there?
Wollastoni: Not yet.
Warren: Well, then, this drink's to yall.
Antiopa: Or don't…
Papilio: Cheers Warren.
Warren: What favor?
Samuelis: So is there a reason you're stopping by? :) Just wanna chill?
Warren: I said I hit the wrong damn bookmark by accident.
Antiopa: You got any idea how i could possibly remember shit?
Croesus: Don't lie, Warren. You don't have to pretend if you just wanna see us.
Warren: Hey! You're the guy! The one who called but…bald…er, ditts, remember shit? Try carrying a notepad?
Thyodamas: The problem is, she already forgot something. So she can't remember it with a notepad.
Antiopa: And help3r won't tell me shit so your my next best thing.
Croesus: Because Help3r's such a helpful individual.
Warren: I don't know man, if I had a recipe for remembering lost things I'd be set in the cabbage.
Antiopa: hahaha
Croesus: See how popular you are? Everyone comes running when you're here.
Philenor: Everyone loves Warren.
Warren: awwwww shit
Charithonia: ?
Warren: Get my letter man jacket. Git mah hair did.
Hesperiaris: Like I said, "Warren's milkshake brings all the butterflies to the yard" :P
Antiopa: There's something I wanna tell you about
Warren: Sup?
Antiopa: Do you know about Slender man? Because that's on our case too.
Warren: Well, yeah.
Hesperiaris: He said it has some connection to it, if I remember correctly.
Glaucopsyche: We talked about that last time he was here.
Warren: Vault, Slender man, makes sense. Kinda a no brainer.
Allyni: I have a feeling the Weaver wouldn't let stuff fuck with it's seer. But idk.
Croesus: Calling him a seer makes him seem all old and mysterious.
Septentrionis: Glorified secretary?
Wollastoni: Does he "see more than he knows"? shot
Hesperiaris: Ye Old Seer Warren
Warren: You don't do this job without an understanding of how to take the creepy fish away
Urbanus: How DO you take the creepy fish away?
Warren: Don't go fuckin look for it for one. There are a lot of bad things out there, thing is, with a lot of them once your in, your ass is in. My ass is firmly planted. I'm set. Speaking of which, would anyone be interested in purchasing some real estate in upstate New York?
Samuelis: No.
Warren: Seriously fucking badass cribz. You don't even know.
Chat: Do you think any of us HAVE that kind of money??
Warren: Nothin too expense
Urbanus: Can I ask a questions?
Warren: sup.
Urbanus: Why…do you keep coming in to talk to us? Just because we're interesting? I'm genuinely curious.
Warren: Shit it's personal you know. You gettin all up in my biz and shit.
Antiopa: Well we're not used to people sticking around.
Warren: Ok.
Antiopa: Prior to you coming in we haven't seen an actual person come in and hang out.
Warren: Pops did this like I said, like his pops, and so on. They took a much more hands on approach and things didn't work out so well. So I keep my distance ok?
Antiopa: Yeah but you didn't have to do that, come in and tell us stuff
Warren: shit I dunno
Glaucopsyche: yes this is such a distance, coming in on your free time.
Warren: I'm complicated.
Philenor: That's still fucking creepy
Warren: Wit an ice crown and all dat shit. Ya heard? yeah.
Croesus: Just admit it, You wanna be a butterfly right?
Warren: FAHAAAUUUUCK NO. I'm already a beautiful swan princess.
Septentrionis: We will get you your own ship and everything.
Samuelis: :3 We even have butter-chan.
Warren: Conflicting interests.
Antiopa: I remember reading that I was the 12-year-old that almost got killed by Help3r.
Warren: haha you done ALMOST died.
Antiopa: According to what Help3r told me, I was almost going to die before he stepped in.
Croesus: The thing to remember is, Help3r is an asshole.
Warren: Let's put it this way. I've seen enough 12 year olds not "almost" die to know you're lucky. It's a fuck scary world out there.
Urbanus: I gave a serial killer a layout of my apartment!
Warren: If Hannibal Lector has taught us anything, it's to always taunt the serial killers.
Wollastoni: Eat your enemies? Oh wait…
Warren: oh OH SHIT. I see your face up there THOEFH THE FUCK IS ON YO HEAD GURL (referencing Wollastoni's stuff animal)
Antiopa: It's a pygmy puff! Do you not watch Harry Potter, you fuck?!
Warren: I live Harry Potter yo, all gringots N shit
Antiopa: Help3r keeps saying he is waiting for someone. You have an abundance of information about Help3r. I would just watch your back.
Warren: I let the ladies watch my back for me thanks. 8D
Croesus: I'm suuure you have an abundance of ladies, Warren.
Warren: It is true, I'm a one woman man. You get me bro. You get me. I'm not too worried about helper though.
Antiopa: One more thing. Do you have a file on Showtime?
Warren: I aint looked at that shit for a while yo.
Hesperiaris: Psst, he's not drunk enough to start being loose lipped, I mean…
Warren: Sorry bro, yall are kinda a creepy cult.
Hesperiaris: Warren, quickly, drink some more >_>
Warren: Hey, I'm DOWNIN dis beer man. YOu don't even know.
Croesus: How do we get you to trust us?
Warren: I trust you just fine. That's not the issue. I have rules that have to be followed.
Croesus: I'm amazed we haven't gotten anyone killed yet with how little we know.
Warren: Tell you waht, tomorrow I will look over that fat fucking file again.
Chat: Thanks!
Warren leaves the chat
Warren re-enters the chat roughly 25 minutes later
Warren: DAMN dat shit is strong.
Wollastoni: Oh hay!
Warren: yall chillax I'm here to do my job so can't talk.
Samuelis: XD Your party didn't last too long.
Wollastoni: Okay.
Warren: Just do what you do act like I'm not here yo.
roughly 15 minutes pass
Warren: False alarm yall. Ima go tame this bottle. L8.
Warren leaves the chat

Special thanks to Banana for compiling this chat log